Scott Adams Quotes (26 quotations)
Index Page # 1 of 2 (Quotes : 1 - 26 )
1. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. - Scott Adams
2. Dogbert: "Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemon, make lemonade." Dilbert: "But i'm allergic to citrus." Dogbert: "Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, swell up and die." - Scott Adams
3. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. - Scott Adams
4. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with low SAT scores. The only differences among us is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot. - Scott Adams
5. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant. - Scott Adams
6. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams
7. If you ever have trouble sounding condescending, ask a UNIX user to show you how it's done. - Scott Adams
8. If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. - Scott Adams
9. I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles. - Scott Adams
10. In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon. - Scott Adams
11. In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks. - Scott Adams
12. Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. - Scott Adams
13. Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams. - Scott Adams
14. Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account. - Scott Adams
15. No matter how smart you are, you spend most of your day being an idiot. - Scott Adams
16. Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. - Scott Adams
17. Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. - Scott Adams
18. Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. - Scott Adams
19. Technology: No Place for Wimps! - Scott Adams
20. The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. - Scott Adams
21. The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots. - Scott Adams
22. The only risk of failure is promotion. - Scott Adams
23. There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time." - Scott Adams
24. We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings. - Scott Adams
25. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. - Scott Adams
26. You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. - Scott Adams
2. Dogbert: "Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemon, make lemonade." Dilbert: "But i'm allergic to citrus." Dogbert: "Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, swell up and die." - Scott Adams
3. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. - Scott Adams
4. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with low SAT scores. The only differences among us is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot. - Scott Adams
5. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant. - Scott Adams
6. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams
7. If you ever have trouble sounding condescending, ask a UNIX user to show you how it's done. - Scott Adams
8. If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. - Scott Adams
9. I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles. - Scott Adams
10. In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon. - Scott Adams
11. In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks. - Scott Adams
12. Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. - Scott Adams
13. Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams. - Scott Adams
14. Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account. - Scott Adams
15. No matter how smart you are, you spend most of your day being an idiot. - Scott Adams
16. Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. - Scott Adams
17. Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. - Scott Adams
18. Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. - Scott Adams
19. Technology: No Place for Wimps! - Scott Adams
20. The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. - Scott Adams
21. The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots. - Scott Adams
22. The only risk of failure is promotion. - Scott Adams
23. There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time." - Scott Adams
24. We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings. - Scott Adams
25. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. - Scott Adams
26. You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. - Scott Adams
Quotes Index Pages : 1 | 2 | Next