Fred Allen Quotes (38 quotations)

Index Page # 1 of 2 (Quotes : 1 - 25 )

1. [Television is] the triumph of machine over people. - Fred Allen

2. A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen

3. A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

4. A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

5. Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission. - Fred Allen

6. An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt. - Fred Allen

7. Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne-sounds like a trunk falling down a flight of stairs. - Fred Allen

8. California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen

9. California is a great place to live if you're an orange. - Fred Allen

10. Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

11. Do we really deserve top billing? - Fred Allen

12. During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk. - Fred Allen

13. Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent. - Fred Allen

14. Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut. - Fred Allen

15. Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. - Fred Allen

16. Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars. - Fred Allen

17. I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. - Fred Allen

18. I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. - Fred Allen

19. I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

20. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen

21. I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy. - Fred Allen

22. If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race. - Fred Allen

23. Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

24. Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. - Fred Allen

25. Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. - Fred Allen

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