Woody Allen Quotes (121 quotations)

Index Page # 4 of 5 (Quotes : 76 - 100 )

76. Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

77. Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. - Woody Allen

78. On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. - Woody Allen

79. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. - Woody Allen

80. Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. - Woody Allen

81. Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

82. Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. - Woody Allen

83. Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. - Woody Allen

84. Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing ; between 5 it's fantastic ... - Woody Allen

85. Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

86. Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously. - Woody Allen

87. Sex relieves tension - love causes it. - Woody Allen

88. Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. - Woody Allen

89. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. - Woody Allen

90. She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. - Woody Allen

91. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. - Woody Allen

92. That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing. - Woody Allen

93. The baby is fine, the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson. - Woody Allen

94. The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey. - Woody Allen

95. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. - Woody Allen

96. The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small. - Woody Allen

97. The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen

98. The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone. - Woody Allen

99. The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

100. The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you. - Woody Allen

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