Roseanne Barr Quotes (13 quotations)

1. Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? - Roseanne Barr

2. I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job. - Roseanne Barr

3. I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life. - Roseanne Barr

4. In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open." - Roseanne Barr

5. My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-waztcing kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy. - Roseanne Barr

6. My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. - Roseanne Barr

7. My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. - Roseanne Barr

8. The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. - Roseanne Barr

9. The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. - Roseanne Barr

10. There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect. - Roseanne Barr

11. Women are cursed, and men are the proof. - Roseanne Barr

12. Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. - Roseanne Barr

13. Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with. - Roseanne Barr

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