Dave Barry Quotes (165 quotations)
Index Page # 7 of 7 (Quotes : 151 - 165 )
151. We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires. - Dave Barry
152. We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth. - Dave Barry
153. We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. - Dave Barry
154. We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space. - Dave Barry
155. We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin. - Dave Barry
156. We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. - Dave Barry
157. What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. - Dave Barry
158. What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. - Dave Barry
159. What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight. - Dave Barry
160. What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers. - Dave Barry
161. Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect... today's government uses computers which are capable of cranking out millions of documents per day without any regard whatsoever for their content, thereby freeing government employees for more important responsibilities, such as not answering their phones. - Dave Barry
162. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
163. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. - Dave Barry
164. You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee machine at Cambridge University in England; exactly how many sodas are available in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more. - Dave Barry
165. Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. - Dave Barry
152. We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth. - Dave Barry
153. We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. - Dave Barry
154. We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space. - Dave Barry
155. We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin. - Dave Barry
156. We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. - Dave Barry
157. What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. - Dave Barry
158. What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. - Dave Barry
159. What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight. - Dave Barry
160. What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers. - Dave Barry
161. Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect... today's government uses computers which are capable of cranking out millions of documents per day without any regard whatsoever for their content, thereby freeing government employees for more important responsibilities, such as not answering their phones. - Dave Barry
162. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
163. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. - Dave Barry
164. You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee machine at Cambridge University in England; exactly how many sodas are available in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more. - Dave Barry
165. Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. - Dave Barry
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