Art Buchwald Quotes (15 quotations)

1. A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it. - Art Buchwald

2. And Man created the plastic bag and the tin and aluminum can and the cellophane wrapper and the paper plate, and this was good because Man could then take his automobile and buy all his food in one place and He could save that which was good to eat in the refrigerator and throw away that which had no further use. And soon the earth was covered with plastic bags and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk, and Man shook his head and cried: "Look at this Godawful mess"; - Art Buchwald

3. Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was. - Art Buchwald

4. Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? - Art Buchwald

5. I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team." - Art Buchwald

6. I worship the quicksand he walks in. - Art Buchwald

7. Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." President Reagan says, "I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope." - Art Buchwald

8. People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him. - Art Buchwald

9. Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. - Art Buchwald

10. Television has a real problem. They have no page two. - Art Buchwald

11. The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo. - Art Buchwald

12. The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water. - Art Buchwald

13. We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. - Art Buchwald

14. Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. - Art Buchwald

15. You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it. - Art Buchwald

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