Denis Leary Quotes (14 quotations)
1. Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing. - Denis Leary
2. I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with. - Denis Leary
3. I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nuture. - Denis Leary
4. I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? - Denis Leary
5. Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry? - Denis Leary
6. Life sucks. Get a F**king helmet, okay? - Denis Leary
7. Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe. - Denis Leary
8. My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance. - Denis Leary
9. My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And, looking back on it, I'm glad they did. I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my own kids, for no reason whatsoever. - Denis Leary
10. Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct. - Denis Leary
11. The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi. - Denis Leary
12. There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. - Denis Leary
13. We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest. Yoko Ono is standing right next to him. Not one F**king bullet. Explain that to me! Explain that to me! - Denis Leary
14. Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them. - Denis Leary
2. I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with. - Denis Leary
3. I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nuture. - Denis Leary
4. I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? - Denis Leary
5. Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry? - Denis Leary
6. Life sucks. Get a F**king helmet, okay? - Denis Leary
7. Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe. - Denis Leary
8. My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance. - Denis Leary
9. My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And, looking back on it, I'm glad they did. I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my own kids, for no reason whatsoever. - Denis Leary
10. Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct. - Denis Leary
11. The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi. - Denis Leary
12. There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. - Denis Leary
13. We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest. Yoko Ono is standing right next to him. Not one F**king bullet. Explain that to me! Explain that to me! - Denis Leary
14. Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them. - Denis Leary
