David Letterman Quotes (21 quotations)

1. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

2. Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. - David Letterman

3. Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between! - David Letterman

4. For the love of god folks, don't do this at home. - David Letterman

5. Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family. - David Letterman

6. I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. - David Letterman

7. I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red. - David Letterman

8. I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious. - David Letterman

9. New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. - David Letterman

10. Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger. - David Letterman

11. Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group. - David Letterman

12. People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. - David Letterman

13. President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind? - David Letterman

14. Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

15. The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong. - David Letterman

16. There is no off position on the genius switch. - David Letterman

17. There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. - David Letterman

18. Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

19. USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. - David Letterman

20. We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector. - David Letterman

21. Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water. - David Letterman

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