1. By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions? - Jackie Mason

2. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

3. It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. - Jackie Mason

4. It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. - Jackie Mason

                                

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