Dennis Miller Quotes (17 quotations)

1. A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot. - Dennis Miller

2. A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George. - Dennis Miller

3. A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. - Dennis Miller

4. Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. - Dennis Miller

5. Clinton's the kind of guy who'll give you one tic-tac. - Dennis Miller

6. Economists predict that this year's federal surplus will be $120 billion less than predicted in January. The missing $120 billion was reportedly last seen on a date with Congressman Gary Condit. - Dennis Miller

7. I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party. - Dennis Miller

8. I rant, therefore I am. - Dennis Miller

9. If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka. - Dennis Miller

10. I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort. - Dennis Miller

11. Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels. - Dennis Miller

12. The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country. - Dennis Miller

13. The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. - Dennis Miller

14. The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: 'Hey you stinking fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort.' - Dennis Miller

15. There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. - Dennis Miller

16. This place makes Mayberry look like a think tank. - Dennis Miller

17. We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. - Dennis Miller

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