Terry Pratchett Quotes (43 quotations)

Index Page # 1 of 2 (Quotes : 1 - 25 )

1. "I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice." - Terry Pratchett

2. [The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners. - Terry Pratchett

3. A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett

4. A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. - Terry Pratchett

5. Always be aware of any helpful item that weighs less than it's operating manual. - Terry Pratchett

6. An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. - Terry Pratchett

7. Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be. - Terry Pratchett

8. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

9. For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

10. Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

11. Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

12. Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think. - Terry Pratchett

13. Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off. - Terry Pratchett

14. He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at. - Terry Pratchett

15. If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter. - Terry Pratchett

16. I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. - Terry Pratchett

17. It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored. - Terry Pratchett

18. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. - Terry Pratchett

19. It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things. - Terry Pratchett

20. No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for. - Terry Pratchett

21. Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact. - Terry Pratchett

22. One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. - Terry Pratchett

23. Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. - Terry Pratchett

24. Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. - Terry Pratchett

25. Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions. - Terry Pratchett

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