Andy Rooney Quotes (12 quotations)

1. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. - Andy Rooney

2. Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head. - Andy Rooney

3. I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. - Andy Rooney

4. If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. - Andy Rooney

5. If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. - Andy Rooney

6. Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

7. Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. - Andy Rooney

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney

9. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

10. The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. - Andy Rooney

11. We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones. - Andy Rooney

12. We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 290,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it. - Andy Rooney

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