Rita Rudner Quotes (32 quotations)
Index Page # 1 of 2 (Quotes : 1 - 25 )
1. Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner
2. I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album. - Rita Rudner
3. I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. - Rita Rudner
4. I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. - Rita Rudner
5. I like men who wear earrings. They've bought jewelry and they've experienced pain. - Rita Rudner
6. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
7. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
8. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner
9. I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner
10. I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. - Rita Rudner
11. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
12. In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner
13. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
14. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? - Rita Rudner
15. Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
16. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. - Rita Rudner
17. My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner
18. My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
19. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
20. My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. - Rita Rudner
21. My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping. - Rita Rudner
22. My mother buried three husbands Ð and two of them were only napping. - Rita Rudner
23. My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
24. My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. - Rita Rudner
25. Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. - Rita Rudner
2. I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album. - Rita Rudner
3. I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. - Rita Rudner
4. I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. - Rita Rudner
5. I like men who wear earrings. They've bought jewelry and they've experienced pain. - Rita Rudner
6. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
7. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
8. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner
9. I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner
10. I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. - Rita Rudner
11. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
12. In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner
13. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
14. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? - Rita Rudner
15. Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
16. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. - Rita Rudner
17. My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner
18. My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
19. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
20. My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. - Rita Rudner
21. My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping. - Rita Rudner
22. My mother buried three husbands Ð and two of them were only napping. - Rita Rudner
23. My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
24. My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. - Rita Rudner
25. Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. - Rita Rudner
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