Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (13 quotations)
1. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. - Jerry Seinfeld
2. I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. - Jerry Seinfeld
3. I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME! - Jerry Seinfeld
4. I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. - Jerry Seinfeld
5. It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld
6. Men want the same thing from women and their underwear: support, comfort, and freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
7. Men want the same thing from women that they want from their underwear... a little support, comfort, and freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
8. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. - Jerry Seinfeld
9. The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun. - Jerry Seinfeld
10. The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld
11. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
12. There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked. - Jerry Seinfeld
13. Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. - Jerry Seinfeld
2. I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. - Jerry Seinfeld
3. I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME! - Jerry Seinfeld
4. I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. - Jerry Seinfeld
5. It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld
6. Men want the same thing from women and their underwear: support, comfort, and freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
7. Men want the same thing from women that they want from their underwear... a little support, comfort, and freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
8. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. - Jerry Seinfeld
9. The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun. - Jerry Seinfeld
10. The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld
11. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
12. There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked. - Jerry Seinfeld
13. Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. - Jerry Seinfeld
