James Thurber Quotes (52 quotations)

Index Page # 1 of 3 (Quotes : 1 - 25 )

1. A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home. - James Thurber

2. A peril of the night road is that flecks of dust and streaks of bug blood on the windshield look to me like old admirals in uniform, or crippled apple women, or the front edge of barges, and I whirl out of their way, thus going into ditches and fields and up on front lawns, endangering the life of authentic admirals and apple women who may be out on the roads for a breath of air before retiring. - James Thurber

3. A woman's place is in the wrong. - James Thurber

4. All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

5. All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first. - James Thurber

6. Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

7. He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes. - James Thurber

8. He who hesitates is sometimes saved. - James Thurber

9. He wondered if he would kiss her and when he would kiss her and if she wanted to be kissed and if she were thinking of it, but she asked him what he would have to eat tonight at his hotel. He said clam chowder. Thursday, he said, they always have clam chowder. Is that the way you know it's Thursday, she said, or is that the way you know it's clam chowder? - James Thurber

10. Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house. - James Thurber

11. Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority. - James Thurber

12. Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

13. Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor. - James Thurber

14. I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

15. I hate women because they always know where things are. - James Thurber

16. I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm. - James Thurber

17. I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere. - James Thurber

18. I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. - James Thurber

19. If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. - James Thurber

20. It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy. - James Thurber

21. It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. - James Thurber

22. It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption. - James Thurber

23. Its better to know some of the questions, than all of the answers. - James Thurber

24. Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen! - James Thurber

25. Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything. - James Thurber

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